Jeff and I met soon after high school. We were from the same part of town, we had a lot in common and were both working --and we were bored. We decided to get married more as something to do than because we were greatly in love with each other. We were good friends and I figured he would be a fine dad for my future kids.
After six years and three kids, we stopped communicating with each other. We talked about the kids or what to have for dinner, but beyond that, there wasn’t much. We slogged through life making it from day to day without much enthusiasm or joy. Everything was a chore; while I was doing laundry, more clothes were getting dirty. While the dishes were finally piled into the dishwasher, someone was grabbing more to eat and making another dish dirty. The cycle of daily tasks was killing me. I thought I would shrivel up and die from so much drudgery. I got a job outside the home to expand my horizons. I figured that with the added income, we could make life at least slightly easier. While working in the Development Office at the nearby university, I managed large donor events. It was at one of these fancy evenings that I met Chuck. Chuck was everything Jeff wasn’t. Jeff was a regular beer-slinging, bowling-league kind of guy. Chuck was classy, sophisticated and rich. He knew about vintage wines and fine art. He was a major donor and ran numerous successful businesses. He had been married before and had older children so he understood the pressures I was experiencing in my home life. We were like magnets to each other. At first I wrote it all off as a business relationship, but it quickly became more than that.
I was a fool. Anyone who knew Chuck would know he loved to charm the ladies… I was swept into his exciting world, eager for an escape from my boring, stressful life. I was willing to give up everything for him. And I did. My husband was shocked and hurt but we left the marriage amicably.
It was only five years before Chuck found another “sweet young thing” to charm. Unfortunately, by that time, I had completely left my family to be with him. What a huge price I paid.
My advice would be to separate and think before you jump into another relationship. Give yourself time to assess why you are unhappy and take time to fix that in your marriage. I left a totally nice guy for a jerk.
Has this happened to you?
What advice would you give to someone in this situation?
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